senioritis

Today, is Thursday. I'm in this teacher aide class minding my own business, listening to the voices of the students. How boring. The Internet is annoyingly slow today, and it is driving me crazy. After oversleeping, to slow Internet. Senioritis, or however you spell it. Mr. says I got it bad. Worst case, but I'm still alive. Or I was since the last time I checked. School has been ticking me off, because everyday it gets worse. Pretty soon everything is going to go downhill.

Alright, back to this class. Right now DJ is just standing in front of the students talking, and the students are either putting their thumbs up or down. How interesting; how fun, not! Boring, dude! I'm more of a demanding kind of person. I need interesting and fun things to do! I needa move around, or get a new environment. I've been stuck in this little village my whole life. Now, being a senior, I have a chance to get out and be be on my own! Now that is what I call exciting! College!!!

All I have to do is graduate, and I'm sure as heck going to make sure it happens. There is no way I am going to be a fifth year. Nuh-uh. I'm seventeen years old, the only girl, attending Akiuk, and living in this here villie. INow that is boring. I want to be out of the village life, and into the modern world. I don't exactly know what I want to be when i grow up, but I am sure about what I am going to do. Who is ready to know exactly what they want to be when they grow up?

who cares

Today is Wednesday. Good, it's closer to Friday. Surprise, surprise, this week on Friday I won't be playing ball at Akula. I guess you could say that this made my week. Stupid eligibility shtuff. Nothing made me not play. Nothing made me so much more tired of showing up in school. Who'd want to come to Akiuk for school anyway? If they do, for why? No reason to come here. Same as any other place. Same problems as anyother plaee. Only difference is who the people are, and quite frankly, if I had the chance to chose where to school, I'd chose any where BUT here. I'm not whining about the school and the teachers or even the people who attend it, I'm just saying what I feel.
Being a senior, and being so close to being finished made me really look at Akiuk. Made me see what kind of place this is behind all the fake sympathies and even some people. Annoying the crap out of me.
AMS. Those are the initials to our school. Sounds a lil like something, ah? Well, there you have it. Bu-tung-tung.
Back to business. In a matter of days school is going to be out for Christmas break. That is the only thing that motivates me to go to school. Nothing else does. Nothing interests me. Nothing is here for me, but whining and eyes. Nothing but eyes and whine. So why show up? Other than needing to attend in order to graduate? Slowly the time is flying by. Next thing I know, the class of 2010 will be off to college. I can't wait to get out of this place. Out of having to show up in school, and out of the village. Away from home, but ont too far. I'm not allowed to go out of state, and I am not allowed to go any where but Bethel for my first year. It's true, my parents said so. They already had it all planned out before I even graduated. I asked is I could go to Juneau, but no. Anchorage, but no. I even asked to go to Fairbanks, no. Same thing everytime. SO I guess that Bethel is my only choice. It's either that or becoming a bum. Why would I waste my tme here, when I can go out of here? Hopefully for good?

"bah-dow"

I like this picture. It's says "bah-dow." I think I got this from myhotcomments.com, but I don't know. I don't remember where I got it from. It's been a while since I checked around the Internet. All I've been doing is checking hoverspot and facebook. This week I'm hoping that I will work, but chances are likely that I'll be on hoverspot before the day is over. No doubt about that.

Internet is my worst enemy this year. I have to work. I need to graduate. I want to be done with this school year. No matter what happens, no matter who is in my way, I will be done. I don't have to look back to all those years of BS. Yeah, I said it, BS. I'm tired of Akiuk, and every year its going to get worse, but what do I care? I'm graduating. I won't be here when everything changes dramatically. I'm happy that I'm a senior, and I'm happy that the junior highers are going to try take over high school. I won't be here.

Being done with high school is the first thing on my mind. I've dealt with this place and the teachers, no offense DJ, since I started high school. Freshmeat is on its way. I hope they like it. This blog is plain and simple. I'm tired of showing up at school.

Government

The government. I've never really understood the government. How it works, what it does, and even who is in it. You could say that I am not into government, but criminal justice is what i strive for. I want to be a lawyer, but a writer. Yet I love to draw, and mathematics is one of my favorite subjects. However, social studies and history bore me.
I watched Katt. Williams, The Pimp Chronicles, and it made me wonder. He said that the government is a pimp. They tell you what to do, and you don't ask any questions, you just do it. Kind of interesting, don't you think?
For two years straight, I've always pictured myself as a lawyer, fighting a case with a celebrity (Whoa, dream big!). Being a lawyer was my all-time dream as a sophomore and junior, but now, I'm sort of leaning towards psychology. I am intrigued by the brain and its mysteries. How we are, and why we are like this. How we think, and why we think like this. What makes us who we are, really sparks my interests. Lately, I've been wondering about becoming a counselor someday, yet I've never really pictured myself as a counselor. Talking face to face, is not my style. I don't help people with their problems, I think I just have a knack for letting people laugh. Even when their sad and really down. Wait, hold up. How did I get from the government to making people laugh? Is the government a joke? Ha. (IDK)
as of now, i have a headache, im coughin like kerazii, and i woke up late today. whoop dee doo.

Unique Ness

Well, my mouse is annoying. It works great for a few seconds, then goes haywire. Darn old aged laptop. Its getting into its golden years, and I feel sorry for it. It's old. Poor laptop has to have me for an owner. Am I that bad? I didn't know I could be that bad. Gosh, this mouse I took from the computer lab is too long. It has a lon wire, and kind of sort of big mouse. I wish that my laptop would be fixed and NORMAL. I have NORMAL though.
Being normal is too normal. Being unique is too normal. Like Sherry said, be unique like everyone else. So why should we be unique when everyone else is striving to be different? Be the first to say, I want to be normal, because there are hardly any normies out there! I want to be, I don't know. I don't know what I want to be. I don't know what to do. I'm totally and completely lost here. Lost in my own thoughts, and I still don't know what I am talking about.
Okay, I just got back from getting my mother's laptop for back up. Ah, yes, I've stooped so slow that I am using my mother's laptop. Woe is me. Yeah right, it works better than mine. In fact it works much better! Although, the feeling of the keyboard is a little different from my own. I like the feeling, it's like I'm not even touching the keyboard.
I feel the eyes of haters burning on my flesh. I hear the voices of fakers telling lies. I feel that my presence is not wanted. Back, I must go back. Home is only safe, home is where I must get to. Home is my home. (If you're wondering what in the heck I'm writing about, then go on. Keep wondering.)
Keep up with me, aight? Hooligans and nincompoops everywhere. HAHA. Make me laugh. GO ahead. Bong i tong zong!

What A LIFE

Online Shopping, is the best way to shop. Lately, I've been searching for a online store thingy that fits me. I've tried a lot, but the one that really screams IQ is Hot Topic. I love their shirts, cosmetics, and especially the New Moon merchandise!! I was all like, wow. (LOL) Unfortunately, their pants and shoes are a little to dramatic for me. Don't get me wrong, I love neon green, but with neon pink? I don't think so. Purple with bright colors are also not in my style.
I've been searching for clothes that I can actually feel comfortable in. My mother already said that I can't get gothic clothes, but I told her that I already chose black. White is still a consideration. I've been thinking that I should wear lighter clothes. For me, that is a step up. I've been wearing nothing but black for who knows how long? I like the color, is that a crime? I love wearing black, and I love being alone. (Again with the alone thing, ah?)
Well, let's switch up my topic, right now, I'm in this class room of Deanna's. I hear a lot of voices, which is kind of not suppose to happen. It weird being in this class, because my classmates are in here. I guess you can say that I am a little bit shy or maybe not wanting to be in this class. Hard enough to deal with it in other classes. Alas, I could have been one of the Huskies. A don't look like a Kasigluk-er, but more of a Togiak-er. I've been thinking of transferring, but it is too late now. I'm stuck here all the way. I started a Grizzly, then I might as well end a Grizzly. My mom refused to let me go to Togiak my freshman year because I was too young. 14 might seem a little young for a freshman, but I wouldn't mind living in Togiak with my relatives. I loved the way their school is. Granted, I've never heard much about it, only that it is good and faster.
Thinking of how different life would be if my parents had decided to live in Togiak long ago, I smile. I could have been from Togiak, I could have lived there my whole life. I wouldn't have met Sherry! How would crazy would that be? (LOL) Let alone EVERYONE else in this school. Well, maybe not everyone. I know that my mom would come here every now and then, but still. The thought of not even being frmo here, makes me tingle. I like the idea of not being a KUK-er. I like the idea of not having to live the life I lived here. I might not have messed things up with people, hey! I might not have met those people! What a life.

(beaver) DAM

Well, I didn't finish my research paper. You, Deanna, of all people know this because you're my writing teacher and my volleyball coach. This week we were suppose to go to KKI, but change of plans. I'm not eligible, and so is one other person. I of course, knew that I wasn't going to travel anywhere, but I was almost positive that the team would at least have a shot in going. Well, nothing goes as planned.

Last night I worked on my research paper, and I realized that my topic does not interest me that much any more. I used to think addictions were complex and mysterious. Well, that's because its simple. You try a drug, you like it, you want more of it, than baboom. Your hooked. I learned that it goes deeper than that. It does something to your brain, "rewire" or change. I guess you can say that your brain adapts to the constant use of the drug, then in time the user would need more of it to achieve the same affect. Yeah, that's my topic for you. Interesting? If yes, then write my paper. I need at least six pages and a works cited page. Hey, I'll even sweeten deal for you. Fifty bucks for a complete research paper. Huh? Sound good? (LOL) I'm only kidding. I'd never do that, not even if I'm desperate.

I've got spare time, I just don't exactly know how to use it. Whenever I'm flooded with thoughts, and busy, that is usually when I want to work. When I can't work, I want to work. When I have to work, I don't want to work. Simple as that. Weird isn't it. Right now I'm so glad for something, but feeling weird.

Totally and Completely Messed

Okay, let's get this done.
Today is Friday, supposedly the best day of the week. I woke up today going crazy looking for my eye ointment thing (nasty). Oh, yesterday I didn't go to school because I was too mad at my pink eye for being pink. Figures, I always end up getting pink eye. Well, enough of my eye business. Today, like I said before, is Friday. Volleyball night, and yes, I am excited.
I wish we could have traveled for volleyball, but it's okay. Either way we are going to play volleyball. That's all I can ask for. I love volleyball, even more than basketball which is a little weird. Looking back to long time ago (LOL), I never thought that Akiuk would have a volleyball team. I used to watch the grown-ups play volleyball, and they looked so cool to me. Back then, I used to hide in the bathroom, and secretly watch them. Right when I turned 13, I started to play. I loved it. It was so fun! I was scared, for sure, but it was "da bomb diggity." This post was a little old, but I have to finish it.
This today it now be... Wait, let me rephrase that. Today is Thursday and I'm sicker than sick can be. My nose is stuffy and runny, my eye is watering, and my cough hurts like crap. Nothing but sneezing and coughing, and coughing and sneezing. Darnit. I've never felt this crappy since I don't remember when. All I know is right now I'm doing nothing but sneezing.
Back to work, and I don't want to be here. I am uncomfortable being here, and I wish I could go home. There is people I don't want to see, even they live here. Which is kind of weird because I live here, IT lives here and same villie as well. I'm like [beaver] dam. (LOL)
I did not go school for a while. Ever since Friday, and its been about a week. I mean I'm here now, on a Thursday, sicker than sick can be. I got used to jamming out to slow songs instead of heavy metal like usual. I don't know how my music interests changed from hardcore heavy metal to slwo songs with meaningful words. Yuck! I know I love music, but to have that drastic change is kind of weird. I was always thinking of the dark and being nice and alone. I love being alone in the dark. It makes me feel crazy. Eh! Well, that pretty much it. I love wearing only black, wearing too dark make-up, thinking dark thoughts and death itself. Questioning it, understanding it. Searching it. IDK why I like thinking. It passes the time. it lets me have something to do.

Volleyball

EXCITED!
Friday! I can wait, but you know I can't! I really want to play volleyball, and I hope we do good. I'm kind of sad, considering the fact that this is my last year. I don't even know if I used the word "considering" right. Well, who cares? Other than teachers of course. This is my last year, and I'm just writing this here blog. As always. I want to go out with a bang. If you know what I mean. I want to remember this year as the best, not the most annoying and most hated year. Believe me, I will always find a flaw. There is nothing I'd rather do than just have a GOOD year. A happy year, but being that fact that I'm me, I know that it will be hard.
Boys seem to have it all good, as for girls, there always has to be something wrong. I mean, a guy can have a banging year, while a girl is just suffering. I'm not being sexist or anything, but being a girl is hard. (LOL) I know guys have it hard too, but they sure have a good way in hiding it. I have an older brother, and he says we have it good, but we just over do everything and take everything too seriously. I know I am serious when it comes to insignificant things, but I can't help it. I always over react and get too angry for nothing.
BACK TO VOLLEYBALL.
This Friday we are having a meet, and here I am struggling to get up in the morning, and trying to be interested in school. I wake up too late everyday, and I end up running to school. Good warm up before a crappy day at school, but four teams are coming. If I heard right. I'm, like, so totally ready to, like, play and, like, do good and whatever!

Writing About Something

Well, I guess that this week I kind of had to do my two blogs.
Starting from Monday, I think there was no Internet, or was it Yesterday? Whichever. I've been avoiding this class, because I am sort of lazy to have to type this thing. I know i have to do it because my teacher has nothing better for me to do, but I guess its better than having study hall. Not.
I love this class because you could say it is easy. Of course it is easy, but that's because I is a teacher aide. I'm kidding. I am a teacher aide for, who else but, Quagmire! Alright, enough kidding around. DJ is my teacher for this here class, and I like being in this class. I get to hang out with my little shorty, Joseph. Me and shorty go way back, well, that's probably because he is my first cousin, and lived here since who knows how long. I also get to joke around with JP girl and Laugh with/at Sherry too! (LOL)
Would I call this class my "spare time?" In a way, it is. I mean, I write about anything, because I have a lot to say. It's not that I need a topic or some thing to write about, it's just that i jump from subject to subject. See, right now I'm explaining what I am doing, after talking about my teacher aide class. \
Okay, back to writing about something.
I completely forgot to fill in a eligibility for. Figures. I always forget, even if it is something important. Well, I think I'm going to work on my writing assesment. Peace out. (LOL)

Just PLain Weird

What have I been up to? What am I doing? How do I spend my free time? Answer to question number 1: I've been UNPACKING everything that I can. If I knew I would have to work this hard just for a mold-free house, then I wouldn't have signed up for this job. I'm only kidding, but beaver dam! It's annoying! (LOL)

Answer to question number 2: Right now I am sitting on Ms. Jamison, or DJ's, classroom floor typing this here blog. Boring isn't it? Ah, but some one's got to do it. I need a grade for this teacher aide class, and the main thing I do in here is revise or edit students' papers and do the things the teacher doesn't want to do. Yup. Exciting. B-E-A-UTIFUL. NAWT! 

I'm not saying I don't like this class or anything, but I guess it's a whole lot better than trying to help kids even though I don't know what to do. Yeah, here I know what I'm doing, and what the student needs help with. And yes, teachers do get lazy. They are normal people, just like everyone else. Well, most of them. Know what I'm saying? Every school has a freaky deaky teacher, and no DJ, I'm not talking about you. Hakuna Matata. 

 Answer to question number 3: I spend my free time thinking. I think about when I even have free time, and why I never do anything. Then later realize that I wasted valuable time thinking about when I have it, even though without knowing that I am wasting it. You got that part? I think I followed what I was trying to say, but who knows. The writer of this blog might have a chance, but I'm afraid to ask her. You think she'll get mad at me? I mean, i know her and she knows me, but to be honest, we aren't that close. So you want to ask her? Please? I'll give you half a dollar? :))=)) (LMFAO)

$L33p!n B3@uty... NOT

I woke up late everyday this week, figures. Well, some time last week my family and I moved into our renovated house. Yippy kay yay. Yeah right. It is annoying me. First I had a busy weekend, and hardly ever went out of my house. I just stayed inside unpacking and finding places for things. Our "big" house seemed to shrink when we brought EVERYTHING in. I mean, how in the hell could that little house hold so much junk? How did we live all those years? 

One thing that freaked me out was that we were living with bah-jillions [[my own word]] of spiders and little beetles. Nasty! I was like, Ma, I'm not going to sleep in here, but was only kidding. I mean come on! I have my own room! I have to sleep in there! (LOL) 

Spare time, ah, do I even have spare time nowadays? Most likely, but it doesn't seem like it. If I'm not unpacking, I'm doing homework; if I'm not doing homework, I'm unpacking. So either way I'm inside. No more fresh air I guess. You could say that I am stressed out, I just say that this is it. Senior year! Which means--> STRESSED=NO SLEEP. Me-sleep=you better watch out. You got that? Today I got one sleepy eye, again no surprise. All because I didn't sleep. even during D.E.A.R. I don't catch a few Zs because I'm so caught up in this war book. Guess what I'm trying to write is, I need sleep. Right now I could be sleeping, but I have to write this. You know what? I'm done.

Sitting in the Back

Here I am.
In the back of the class.
Minding my own business.
Laughing every now and then to make sure I'm there.
This school year seems easier. A whole lot easier actually. I hardly ever have homework, but i shouldn't say anything just yet. It's still the beginning of the year. Spare time. I seem to have a lot of that. Since my house is being renovated, I've been living at Jackie Isaac's house for the past month or two. I never knew how much I could like it there. It feels more like home than home ever did. Is that bad? Is that wrong? Who knows? It might actually be for the better. Or is it?
How should I know. I'm just a senior in high school, and currently jamming out to heavy metal. I have classes that don't give me much homework, so I'm usually off doing whatever. I'm either working on the little homework I do get, or rotting my brain with Hoverspot.
This school year feels like it is harder, but easier. I'm not sure how, but I feel like I don't have to be here. Every week I get this feeling like I don't care about school, college, or even books. Jeez, a lot could happen in a year. I remember how I used to love school so much and couldn't stand to miss even a day. I was such a nerd. I guess having all this free time is making me think about what I could of finished last year, if I worked.