senioritis

Today, is Thursday. I'm in this teacher aide class minding my own business, listening to the voices of the students. How boring. The Internet is annoyingly slow today, and it is driving me crazy. After oversleeping, to slow Internet. Senioritis, or however you spell it. Mr. says I got it bad. Worst case, but I'm still alive. Or I was since the last time I checked. School has been ticking me off, because everyday it gets worse. Pretty soon everything is going to go downhill.

Alright, back to this class. Right now DJ is just standing in front of the students talking, and the students are either putting their thumbs up or down. How interesting; how fun, not! Boring, dude! I'm more of a demanding kind of person. I need interesting and fun things to do! I needa move around, or get a new environment. I've been stuck in this little village my whole life. Now, being a senior, I have a chance to get out and be be on my own! Now that is what I call exciting! College!!!

All I have to do is graduate, and I'm sure as heck going to make sure it happens. There is no way I am going to be a fifth year. Nuh-uh. I'm seventeen years old, the only girl, attending Akiuk, and living in this here villie. INow that is boring. I want to be out of the village life, and into the modern world. I don't exactly know what I want to be when i grow up, but I am sure about what I am going to do. Who is ready to know exactly what they want to be when they grow up?

who cares

Today is Wednesday. Good, it's closer to Friday. Surprise, surprise, this week on Friday I won't be playing ball at Akula. I guess you could say that this made my week. Stupid eligibility shtuff. Nothing made me not play. Nothing made me so much more tired of showing up in school. Who'd want to come to Akiuk for school anyway? If they do, for why? No reason to come here. Same as any other place. Same problems as anyother plaee. Only difference is who the people are, and quite frankly, if I had the chance to chose where to school, I'd chose any where BUT here. I'm not whining about the school and the teachers or even the people who attend it, I'm just saying what I feel.
Being a senior, and being so close to being finished made me really look at Akiuk. Made me see what kind of place this is behind all the fake sympathies and even some people. Annoying the crap out of me.
AMS. Those are the initials to our school. Sounds a lil like something, ah? Well, there you have it. Bu-tung-tung.
Back to business. In a matter of days school is going to be out for Christmas break. That is the only thing that motivates me to go to school. Nothing else does. Nothing interests me. Nothing is here for me, but whining and eyes. Nothing but eyes and whine. So why show up? Other than needing to attend in order to graduate? Slowly the time is flying by. Next thing I know, the class of 2010 will be off to college. I can't wait to get out of this place. Out of having to show up in school, and out of the village. Away from home, but ont too far. I'm not allowed to go out of state, and I am not allowed to go any where but Bethel for my first year. It's true, my parents said so. They already had it all planned out before I even graduated. I asked is I could go to Juneau, but no. Anchorage, but no. I even asked to go to Fairbanks, no. Same thing everytime. SO I guess that Bethel is my only choice. It's either that or becoming a bum. Why would I waste my tme here, when I can go out of here? Hopefully for good?

"bah-dow"

I like this picture. It's says "bah-dow." I think I got this from myhotcomments.com, but I don't know. I don't remember where I got it from. It's been a while since I checked around the Internet. All I've been doing is checking hoverspot and facebook. This week I'm hoping that I will work, but chances are likely that I'll be on hoverspot before the day is over. No doubt about that.

Internet is my worst enemy this year. I have to work. I need to graduate. I want to be done with this school year. No matter what happens, no matter who is in my way, I will be done. I don't have to look back to all those years of BS. Yeah, I said it, BS. I'm tired of Akiuk, and every year its going to get worse, but what do I care? I'm graduating. I won't be here when everything changes dramatically. I'm happy that I'm a senior, and I'm happy that the junior highers are going to try take over high school. I won't be here.

Being done with high school is the first thing on my mind. I've dealt with this place and the teachers, no offense DJ, since I started high school. Freshmeat is on its way. I hope they like it. This blog is plain and simple. I'm tired of showing up at school.

Government

The government. I've never really understood the government. How it works, what it does, and even who is in it. You could say that I am not into government, but criminal justice is what i strive for. I want to be a lawyer, but a writer. Yet I love to draw, and mathematics is one of my favorite subjects. However, social studies and history bore me.
I watched Katt. Williams, The Pimp Chronicles, and it made me wonder. He said that the government is a pimp. They tell you what to do, and you don't ask any questions, you just do it. Kind of interesting, don't you think?
For two years straight, I've always pictured myself as a lawyer, fighting a case with a celebrity (Whoa, dream big!). Being a lawyer was my all-time dream as a sophomore and junior, but now, I'm sort of leaning towards psychology. I am intrigued by the brain and its mysteries. How we are, and why we are like this. How we think, and why we think like this. What makes us who we are, really sparks my interests. Lately, I've been wondering about becoming a counselor someday, yet I've never really pictured myself as a counselor. Talking face to face, is not my style. I don't help people with their problems, I think I just have a knack for letting people laugh. Even when their sad and really down. Wait, hold up. How did I get from the government to making people laugh? Is the government a joke? Ha. (IDK)
as of now, i have a headache, im coughin like kerazii, and i woke up late today. whoop dee doo.

Unique Ness

Well, my mouse is annoying. It works great for a few seconds, then goes haywire. Darn old aged laptop. Its getting into its golden years, and I feel sorry for it. It's old. Poor laptop has to have me for an owner. Am I that bad? I didn't know I could be that bad. Gosh, this mouse I took from the computer lab is too long. It has a lon wire, and kind of sort of big mouse. I wish that my laptop would be fixed and NORMAL. I have NORMAL though.
Being normal is too normal. Being unique is too normal. Like Sherry said, be unique like everyone else. So why should we be unique when everyone else is striving to be different? Be the first to say, I want to be normal, because there are hardly any normies out there! I want to be, I don't know. I don't know what I want to be. I don't know what to do. I'm totally and completely lost here. Lost in my own thoughts, and I still don't know what I am talking about.
Okay, I just got back from getting my mother's laptop for back up. Ah, yes, I've stooped so slow that I am using my mother's laptop. Woe is me. Yeah right, it works better than mine. In fact it works much better! Although, the feeling of the keyboard is a little different from my own. I like the feeling, it's like I'm not even touching the keyboard.
I feel the eyes of haters burning on my flesh. I hear the voices of fakers telling lies. I feel that my presence is not wanted. Back, I must go back. Home is only safe, home is where I must get to. Home is my home. (If you're wondering what in the heck I'm writing about, then go on. Keep wondering.)
Keep up with me, aight? Hooligans and nincompoops everywhere. HAHA. Make me laugh. GO ahead. Bong i tong zong!

What A LIFE

Online Shopping, is the best way to shop. Lately, I've been searching for a online store thingy that fits me. I've tried a lot, but the one that really screams IQ is Hot Topic. I love their shirts, cosmetics, and especially the New Moon merchandise!! I was all like, wow. (LOL) Unfortunately, their pants and shoes are a little to dramatic for me. Don't get me wrong, I love neon green, but with neon pink? I don't think so. Purple with bright colors are also not in my style.
I've been searching for clothes that I can actually feel comfortable in. My mother already said that I can't get gothic clothes, but I told her that I already chose black. White is still a consideration. I've been thinking that I should wear lighter clothes. For me, that is a step up. I've been wearing nothing but black for who knows how long? I like the color, is that a crime? I love wearing black, and I love being alone. (Again with the alone thing, ah?)
Well, let's switch up my topic, right now, I'm in this class room of Deanna's. I hear a lot of voices, which is kind of not suppose to happen. It weird being in this class, because my classmates are in here. I guess you can say that I am a little bit shy or maybe not wanting to be in this class. Hard enough to deal with it in other classes. Alas, I could have been one of the Huskies. A don't look like a Kasigluk-er, but more of a Togiak-er. I've been thinking of transferring, but it is too late now. I'm stuck here all the way. I started a Grizzly, then I might as well end a Grizzly. My mom refused to let me go to Togiak my freshman year because I was too young. 14 might seem a little young for a freshman, but I wouldn't mind living in Togiak with my relatives. I loved the way their school is. Granted, I've never heard much about it, only that it is good and faster.
Thinking of how different life would be if my parents had decided to live in Togiak long ago, I smile. I could have been from Togiak, I could have lived there my whole life. I wouldn't have met Sherry! How would crazy would that be? (LOL) Let alone EVERYONE else in this school. Well, maybe not everyone. I know that my mom would come here every now and then, but still. The thought of not even being frmo here, makes me tingle. I like the idea of not being a KUK-er. I like the idea of not having to live the life I lived here. I might not have messed things up with people, hey! I might not have met those people! What a life.

(beaver) DAM

Well, I didn't finish my research paper. You, Deanna, of all people know this because you're my writing teacher and my volleyball coach. This week we were suppose to go to KKI, but change of plans. I'm not eligible, and so is one other person. I of course, knew that I wasn't going to travel anywhere, but I was almost positive that the team would at least have a shot in going. Well, nothing goes as planned.

Last night I worked on my research paper, and I realized that my topic does not interest me that much any more. I used to think addictions were complex and mysterious. Well, that's because its simple. You try a drug, you like it, you want more of it, than baboom. Your hooked. I learned that it goes deeper than that. It does something to your brain, "rewire" or change. I guess you can say that your brain adapts to the constant use of the drug, then in time the user would need more of it to achieve the same affect. Yeah, that's my topic for you. Interesting? If yes, then write my paper. I need at least six pages and a works cited page. Hey, I'll even sweeten deal for you. Fifty bucks for a complete research paper. Huh? Sound good? (LOL) I'm only kidding. I'd never do that, not even if I'm desperate.

I've got spare time, I just don't exactly know how to use it. Whenever I'm flooded with thoughts, and busy, that is usually when I want to work. When I can't work, I want to work. When I have to work, I don't want to work. Simple as that. Weird isn't it. Right now I'm so glad for something, but feeling weird.